Here we go

Well, talk about procrastination! I set this blog up months ago and am just now, in July, writing my first post. So much for documentation. As they say, better late than never (unless you're talking about death, and then I think never is the better option).

This has been a very interesting summer so far. Back at the end of May, I somehow got up the gumption to audition for a feature film. Do not ask me why; something just compelled me. I was farting around on Facebook, and received a notice from my 'friend,' Grand Rapids Civic Theater (I've never had so many friends! Facebook makes you feel strangely popular and lonely at the same time. But I digress.). The message was about this feature film, "All You Can Dream," and the part that grabbed my attention was for "Mom." The character was described as, "In her mid-40's, overweight, "frumpy", a single working mother." I thought, shit, I could do that one in my sleep! Now that I think about it, I didn't get excited about the part, just that it seemed to describe me (well, not the single working mother, seeing how I'm married and all.). I found myself e-mailing the contact for the film (didn't know who it was - it was just an e-mail address without a name), asking for a script. A couple of days later, I received sides (portions of the script that I would audition with). I read through them, and set them aside. The audition wasn't for a week or two. That gave me plenty of time to talk myself out of it, and believe me, I tried. As usual, I went through my list of why I shouldn't do it: you have never done anything like this; what are you thinking?! Also: No one is going to take you seriously! You are kidding yourself! And another: You haven't acted since high school! You think that makes you qualified for THIS?!
I was pretty convincing, so I set the sides aside (sorry). I didn't throw them away; there was still a part of me that really was fighting for a chance to do it. I thought if I just put it out of my mind, the arguing going on in my head would stop. On the day of the audition, my internal arguing started in earnest (there's an Oscar Wilde joke there, but it's too obvious), and I battled with myself all day. Finally, a couple of hours before I needed to be there, I thought, "Okay, at least say the lines out loud and see if you even remotely sound like you could do this." One of the scenes was an emotional argument between "Mom" and her ex. I wasn't sure I had it in me to do it right. Luckily, my husband was home, which should have been a sign from God, now that I think about it, so I asked him to run lines with me. To make a long story shorter, I managed to impress him. More importantly, I impressed myself. So I thought I should go and give it a chance. I knew I wouldn't get the part - who gets a principle role in a feature film the very first time they audition for anything? - but that wasn't my goal anyway. The goal was to DO IT. Audition. Be taken seriously. Walk out of there feeling like I didn't fall on my face, that I did well enough to try again sometime.
Weird, I didn't feel nervous at all. Really. I guess it was because I wasn't there to get the part. I already knew I wouldn't, so that made it a "what have I got to lose" situation. I was really calm, even after sitting there waiting my turn for over an hour. After my audition (which lasted about 10-15 minutes), I left feeling like I'd accomplished my goal. The director had me read with two other actors, and I felt like I was taken seriously as an actress. They seemed at least a bit interested in me. I still didn't think I stood a chance, but I left there feeling really good.
Needless to say, I was stunned when I got the call back the next afternoon. Could not fricken believe it!